I know someone that got divorced over dishes. Although the details are unclear, and I was not present for the dissolution of the marriage, the facts that have been reported come down to this one thing. The purchasing of a dishwasher became part of the attempt to resolve the conflict. This fell flat. It did not get loaded.
It could be said that Tim and I live like a couple of college students – maybe the post-grad kind – but nonetheless, our housekeeping skills are not refined. While our home is not “dirty”, there’s bound to be a mess somewhere. The kitchen just happens to be the regular host of our inattentiveness to housework.
My take on it is that if we weren’t so busy making food from scratch – not out of a box, not easy take-out – but food that always requires some kind of rinsing or chopping, etcetera, maybe we wouldn’t have so many dishes. Tim likes to say that “we are too artistic to be concerned about dishes.” I wasn’t sure if he was joking when I heard him say that, but I did laugh out loud.
Both of these points of view is a cop-out, and the bottom line is that if you don’t do your dishes, they accumulate. If you don’t do the laundry, the pile grows. We are not so “artistic” that we walk around in dirty underwear, now are we? Our lack of action manifests itself as a disorganized, somewhat chaotic living space.
Although we do not live by a regular schedule when it comes to staying on top of the housework, we have flurries of focus. A burst of activity emerges and suddenly the two of us are on top of it. It’s like the pile of pans on the counter had never been sitting there for five days. All of a sudden, there are clean sheets on the bed, the toilets are sparkling, and if someone were to happen upon the scene, they would be snowed into thinking that we are on top of our shit.
But alas, we are not so on top of our shit.
I have no idea if this would be different, should we have children. We did have our niece and nephew live with us, separately and at different times. I don’t remember being any better at housework during those times. Isn’t the idea that you should lead by example when children are about? Yeah, we really don’t live in that world. So really it’s just a couple of over-40 human beings that aren’t that thrilled to clean up after themselves. And I say, if you can live with that, and no one can call you a burgeoning hoarder, everything will probably be okay.
Life is too short for housework.